Bulwer-Lytton Contest 2010

The results for the Bulwer-Lytton 2010 contest are up - it's a competition for the worst opening sentence of a novel (you only have to produce the sentence not the rest of the work). I think my favourite of the quoted ones was:

The dark, drafty old house was lopsided and decrepit, leaning in on itself, the way an aging possum carrying a very heavy, overcooked drumstick in his mouth might list to one side if he were also favoring a torn Achilles tendon, assuming possums have them.